Image by New Line Cinema/Lions Gate Entertainment via IMDB
Hello friends! Sorry, it's been a minute since I made a new post. I spent the first part of last week sick, I couldn't eat anything without massive stomach pains. Then life got super busy and I had no time or mental energy to do any writing for several days. But things are less crazy now and physically and mentally I feel better, so onward!
Congratulations to the Kansas City Chiefs and their fans for winning the Super Bowl yesterday against my 49ers. San Francisco has nothing to be ashamed of, both teams played well. But we could have won if only we had paid off the officials instead of the Chiefs... haha I'm just playing. We got outplayed, fair and simple. Good game. And how about that halftime show? JLo and Shakira killed it! Talk about a 90s throwback in a 90s blog...
Okay, now with the review!
Take Four Weddings and a Funeral. Remove the heart, story, charm, humor, and chemistry. Add some cute dogs. You get Dog Park!
Image by New Line Cinema/Lions Gate Entertainment via Who Dated Who
Dog Park starts out after Luke Wilson and his girlfriend, Kathleen Robertson, have already broken up. She left him for a punk rocker. Wilson then meets Natasha Henstridge. He then tries, and fails, to start a relationship with her. It turns out that Henstridge is still broken hearted about her ex-boyfriend, who by coincidence left her to date Robertson. Wilson doesn't find out about that until way later. There are other characters, including one played by Janeane Garofalo, who is way too good for this movie.
The problem is, no one really does anything interesting. The characters meander about and tell unfunny jokes. There are about six or seven characters, that are all having affairs on each other, with each other. Or their ex is dating someone else in this circle. And they all met at the... dog park.
The only single funny moment of the entire movie was when Luke Wilson hears a dog is named Owen, and he makes fun of it. "Owen? That's a terrible name." That knock on his real-life brother, Owen Wilson, made me laugh out loud. It made me want to go and watch other Luke or Owen Wilson movies, to see if they take pot shots at each other like that in other films.
Dog Park was written and directed by Kids in the Hall alumni Bruce McCulloch. It was released on September 14, 1998 in Canada but not for another year in America, on September 24, 1999. I couldn't find the budget of this movie, but it made only $250K at the box office, so I'm pretty sure it didn't make its money back. It was pretty poorly received, there's a reason you haven't heard of it. Not much else to say about this one.
The cast brought dogs to one of the showings, which is rad. Robertson brought a Dachshund, which makes her my favorite part of this movie.
Image by Jeff Vespa/WireImage.com via IMDB
So since the movie part of the review was so short, I'm gonna spend the rest of this blog post talking about dogs.
I grew up with Dachshunds and there have been 4 1/2 of them in my life. First there was Gretta. Then her daughter, Little Gretta. Also, my Aunt's dog, Gerta. Next was Gretta Marie, my grandparents dog, and later mine. Most recently is Lita, who is my friend's half-Dachshund/half-Chihuahua. Lita is one of really only two dogs that are super active in my life today, the other being my other friend's dog, Grant. Grant is a jindo-corgi-terrier mix and a rescue dog from a Korean dog farm.
Who would want to eat this good boy?
Image by me
My favorite story with her also is about pee. It was one morning, while she was still pretty young, she was sleeping with me. My mother called her to eat and to let her into the backyard to use the bathroom. It was pouring rain. The dog waddled up to the backdoor, took one look outside, and then spun around and ran back to my room as fast as she could, to get back in bed with me. She was panicking. Dogs don't like the rain and she was no exception. That was one of the few parts I liked about Bonfire of the Vanities, the Dachshund that Tom Hanks had that didn't want to go for a walk in the rain.
In 2001, my grandfather moved in with us, and she basically became the family dog. She became my responsibility in 2010, when my grandfather moved to live near my aunt, and Gretta stayed with my brother and I. She passed away in 2011, old as hell. Those last few months were not great for her, and I regret selfishly not trying to put her down. Maybe she wouldn't have had to suffer like she did. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
Only picture I currently have of her on my phone. I miss her.
Image by me
Out of all the dogs I mentioned earlier, this is the one I have the most memories with and spent the most time with. I still miss her, she was a good dog. But I love Lita and Grant, even though they aren't my dog. Once, I dogsat Grant and a few weeks later found out that he stole one of my shirts. He would pull it out and roll around on it, I guess he liked the smell.
But let's get back to the movie, before I start getting all emotional.
Final Verdict:
I have a hard time recommending this movie to anyone. It's unoffensive and it doesn't do anything super wrong. It's just boring. The writing is lame and unfunny (except for the one joke about Owen Wilson). The acting is stilted. It's like a plain slice of white bread, but ya know... the store brand, not the tasty name brand. It won't kill you or give you food poisoning, but there are better sandwich options out there. I'm really only giving it 2 stars for the bevy of dogs in the movie. They're adorable, but not a reason to see it.
I like Dachshunds and I can not lie, you other brothers can't deny.
Image Source
Next time, we have a look at a movie about Marilyn Monroe. Or rather, some teenage boys who stalk Marilyn Monroe. Staring Jason Priestley and Jerry O'Connell, 1993's coming-of-age film, Calendar Girl. Is this a movie you should mark on your calendar to see? Or something you should throw out with the new year? Find out next time!
No comments:
Post a Comment