Image by Columbia Pictures via IMDB
Hello friends! Back again for another review. I haven't gotten any comments from you readers in the blog comments itself, but I do enjoy your thoughts in Instagram, Facebook, and through private messages. I love talking about movies and the 90s, so thank you and keep it coming! Not much else to say today, so let's just get right into today's movie!
September 3, 1993. "Can't Help Falling in Love" by UB40 was the #1 song in America. The X-Files had just debuted on Fox. Pete Sampras and Steffi Graf won the Men's and Women's US Open Tennis Finals. The Oslo Accords, a peace agreement between Israel and Palestine, were reveled to the public. The New York City borough, Queens, began mandatory recycling. And Calendar Girl was released to theaters.
We're always nostalgic for previous decades. We're nostalgic for the 90s today! But in the late 80s and early 90s, it was the 50s. The Wonder Years was on the air. Weezer would soon use Happy Days as the setting for their "Buddy Holly" music video. And there were a crap ton of movies set in the 50s and 60s. Calendar Girl is one of those.
Before seeing this, I actually got this movie confused with a different movie. See, I thought Calendar Girl was about a bunch of older ladies posing nude for a calendar. Turns out that was a different movie, called Calendar Girls, not Calendar Girl. And it came out in 2003 and not 1993. Woops.
Yep. Yep. Wildly different movie. Would rather have watched this one, though.
Image by Buena Vista Pictures via Amazon
Calendar Girl stars a trio of young lads on a cross country road trip to meet their idol, Marilyn Monroe. The three young men are played by Gabriel Olds, Jerry O'Connell, and 90210 mega star Jason Priestley. I feel like this movie was meant to be a vehicle for both Priestley and O'Connell. O'Connell had a widely successful career in the 90s, but never became the household name that I feel Hollywood was trying to make him. Priestley, on the other hand, was already a household name. Beverly Hills 90210 was a cultural phenomenon in the 90s, easily one of the Top 10 shows that defined the decade. And Priestley, along with Luke Perry, were the two mega star male leads on that show. No offense to Brian Austin Green and Ian Ziering. I never watched any of the show until honestly very recently, but I knew who Perry and Priestley were, as well as Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty.
The story of Calendar Girl is as follows. The three boys end up getting their hands on Marilyn Monroe's infamous nude calendar. They become obsessed with her, see all her films, they even make a scrapbook full of newspaper and magazine clippings of the actress. Fast forward to 1962. The boys are all turning 18. Priestley is joining the military, O'Connell is getting married, and Olds is going off to college. Their lifelong friendship is splintering and they know it. So, they decide to do one last big thing together, before they go their separate ways. They take a road trip across the country, to Hollywood, so they can try to meet their hero, Marilyn.
Always hoped for, and never got, a Sliders/90210 Crossover.
Image by Columbia Pictures via Noovie
Okay. So far so good? A nice, innocent coming-of-age story about friendship and life and impending adulthood. Well. Don't worry. It gets weird, fast. While in Hollywood, they stay with Priestley's uncle, played by the wonderful Joe Pantoliano. He likes to throw wild parties. Oh and there are some hitmen after Priestley, for reasons.
The biggest weird part is the boy's quest to meet Marilyn. It involves them sitting outside of her house for hours on end, following her whenever she leaves (including to a nude beach), and bringing a cow to her front yard (because they think she likes farm animals). Does this make you feel uncomfortable and creeped out? It should. But it gets better. In one scene, Priestley literally breaks into Marilyn's house and corners her, asking her for a date. And then he has the Gaul to be upset when she says "no."
But wait! There's more! She changes her mind later that day, calls Priestley, and asks him out for a late night drive and walk on the beach. He accepts, then passes the date off to Olds, because reasons. So Olds takes Marilyn Monroe (the girl he has been stalking) on a date. He even gets a kiss! He calls her his hero. "I'd rather be your friend than your hero," she says. "Friends last longer." Gag me.
Well, their friendship doesn't last all that long. The boys return home and immediately hear the news that Marilyn has died of a "drug overdose." No shade thrown on the Secret Service in this one, I guess. O'Connell gets married. Priestley has a boxing match with his dad, then leaves for bootcamp. Olds goes to college and meets a girl when he does one of those "how many people can fit into a phone booth" things for his Instagram. The end.
Three young boys admire their hero, McGuffin Monroe.
Image by Columbia Pictures via IMDB
So, ugh. There are parts of this movie that I really, really liked. Priestley is cast wonderfully as an early 60s teen heartthrob/rebel. The scenes where he, Olds, and O'Connell are talking about or dealing with their impending adulthood and pretty well written and interesting. Chubby Checker has a small cameo, as himself, which is pretty cool.
But then, there's the silly hitman subplot, which is pretty wacky. Stephen Tobolowsky and Kurt Fuller do a good job with it though. And of course, the biggest offender is the Celebrity Stalking. The message of this movie is "Hey Boys, if you stalk and harass a girl you like, if you break into her house to ask her out, you'll eventually wear herb down and she'll decide to go out with you!"
Critics, rightly, were not keen on this movie. Through they were more critical of Priestley than I feel he deserves. I thought he was great. But maybe that's because I have a Priestley man-crush. Brandon > Dylan. Sorry, not sorry. Calendar Girl had a $13 million budget but only brought in $2 million at the box office.
Wipe that grin off your face, O'Connell. I know what happens to you in Scream 2.
Image by Columbia Pictures via IMDB
Funny enough, this movie is loosely based on a real story. A gentleman by the name of Gene Scanlon crossed the country, with a friend, from New Jersey to the west coast. They made it to Hollywood, met Marilyn, and she took him out on a date and paid for it. It doesn't look like there was crazy stalking involved though, and it was not on the eve of her tragic death. He was on the old game show, I've Got a Secret, and you can see his clip here. It's honestly pretty funny and worth a watch.
Final Verdict:
This movie was not as offensive or as bad as, say, Bonfire of the Vanities. At least in my opinion. I won't give it zero stars. But I'll give it one because of the positive portrayal of stalking. Sorry. I really liked several of the scenes in this, which is why I'm going to give it a little bit better of a break. If they had spent the movie dealing with the coming-of-age bits, watching Marilyn from a respectable distance, maybe a scene where they accidentally end up bumping into her... I would have been down with that. But that isn't what we get. We get something that encourages you to bring a cow to a celebrities home, tresspass, and break in to ask them put. And then get dejected when you get rejected. Pass.
I would especially warn against Marilyn Monroe fans seeing this movie, as it's likely to make you rage. Not only is the whole stalking angle pretty uncomfortable, but the portrayal feels wrong. She's pretty normal, just going about her day-to-day business, if also somewhat lonely. Not in the state of mind of someone who's about to die of a drug overdose. Or be assassinated by the U.S. Government. As if! This isn't My Week with Marilyn.
What's your favorite Marilyn Monroe movie? My favorite movie with her in it is All About Eve. But as for a staring role, it's Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.
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These are just my humble opinions, though, not to be taken as gospel truth. Just Watch
has options where you can stream it online. Give it a view and let me know your opinion!
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