Romeo is Bleeding (1993)

Image by Gramercy Pictures/Focus Features via IMDB

Hello again my friends! Happy Hump Day! Hope you're all doing well and making it through the week. I know I am! I got some comfy new sweatpants yesterday and for dinner I had some of that Nashville style hot chicken that's becoming trendy in Los Angeles, so I'm on Cloud 9! Nothing quite like spending time with close friends, being physically comfortable, and having delicious food. Can't think of much else to say, so let's just jump into the review!

I think I probably first really became aware of Gary Oldman in the Naughties, after he played Commissioner Gordon in a couple of Christopher Nolan's Batman movies. He was in all three, but it was probably after The Dark Knight that I was really impressed by him. Those were my early days of really getting into film amd actors and directors and not just watching movies. I remember looking at his filmography and being amazed at his roles. "Wait, he was in The Fifth Element? Wait, he was Sid Vicious? Hold on a minute, I don't remember him in Air Force One. True Romance? Leon: The Professional? Immortal Beloved? Stop right there. Dracula in Bram Stoker's Dracula?" I was shocked. I had no idea who he was in the 90s, but he played a key character in many of the movies I knew or liked from that decade. The man has the rare ability to fully disappear into his roles so well, that you don't always know him.

What I mean... it's not just the Johnny Depp thing. "We're going to slather you in makeup and elaborate costumes, just make sure that you act the same as in all your other movies, so people know it's you." I know that's a bit unfair, I like Depp, but come on... he isn't best actor of all time, like some people claim. Why, because he played a variety of different roles? So does literally every actor. But with Oldman or someone old school lile Peter Sellers or Cate Blanchett, it becomes more of "We're going to comb your hair different and wear these glasses, no become a completely different person." Thankfully, today, Oldman is highly regarded as one of the greats. But that wasn't always the case. Let's take a peak at Romeo is Bleeding, a little neo-noir that came out between his two big roles in True Romance and The Professional.

Sadly, Oldman does not renounce God in this movie. Spoiler.

Image by Gramercy Pictures/Focus Features via IMDB

Romeo is Bleeding is about a detective, played by Oldman, who is not named Romeo. In fact, there is no Romeo in this movie. But there isba lot of bleeding. The title comes from a 1978 Tom Waits song. So this detective Oldman plays, see he works both sides. There is this mob boss, see, named Don Falcone, played with gusto by Roy Scheider. Oldman takes jobs on the side for Scheider, see, in exchange for money, and he's built up a nice little nest egg. It's in a hole in his backyard, and he's always "feeding the hole" with more and more money. Oldman is also a bit of a sexual fiend, he has a wife played by Annabella Sciorra, as well as a mistress done by the wonderful Juliette Lewis.

Trouble starts to brew as an assassin, portrayed with tons of zeal by Lena Olin, shows up to town. She gets caught and Scheider wants her taken out, because she might talk and he's afraid she wants to take over his operation. He wants Oldman to do it, but he doesn't want to, because cops might die or get hurt. Sleeping around on my wife is fine. Taking bribe money to commit crimes is fine. But this is the one thing he has a conscience about. Then he ends up sleeping with Olin instead of killing her. Brilliant idea.

What follows is a total descent and systematic devastation of Oldman's carefully constructed double life. He apparently will sleep with anything with legs. He ends up being tricked or bribed into sleeping with Olin and doing her bidding multiple times. It's a very violent movie, but unfortinuately, like many of the movies of this type from this era, it ends up getting super cartoony. At one point, Olin completely no-sells a violent car crash, while she's handcuffed in the backseat. She basically just gets up and runs away. Ugh.

To top it off, we're supposed to feel sorry for Oldman, who I might repeat: is a corrupt cop working for the mob AND can't keep his weiner in his pants. I get that these girls are attractive, but jesus christ. Maybe having someone nearly kill him gets him off? Death fetishism is a real thing, after all.

For the love of chud man, please please keep it in your pants!

Image by Gramercy Pictures/Focus Features via IMDB

A character like Oldman's CAN work, but he needs to have some sort of redemption arch to pull it off, and there is none for Oldman. You could argue they go the path of Scarface or GoodFellas, in which you get to see the villains lose everything, but they don't really do that either. See they never tried to paint Tony Montana as anything other than, basically, a super villain. With Ray Liotta in GoodFellas, you have a character who has been working for the mob his whole life, since before a time when he was really mature and wise enough to make good decisions. He knows nothing else. Not so with Oldman, who comes across as "poor me, what have I done?!" Well, maybe don't work with the mob or sleep with psychopaths. Idiot.

There are some good scenes. The ending scene I liked. And I really dug the whole "feed the hole" metaphor. But most of the movie is bullcrap. Bottom line, the plot of the film descends into stupidity. A noir or crime film, to work effectively, has to be grounded in reality and be plausable. Reservoir Dogs and again GoodFellas, for example, are over the top and have funny bits, but everything that happens I can still see as a thing that might happen in real life. Plausible.

There are two things I liked that almost saved this movie. First, the acting. Oldman, in particular, is killer in this. He brings a strong sence of authenticity to this dumb story. Olin is also strong in this, very sexy and seductive. Scheider has grown on me over the years. I was first exposed to him on the TV show SeaQuest DSV in 1993. A few years later, I saw him again when I watched the classic film Jaws for the first time. I've seen him in multiple things since then, and he's always surprised me in his versatility, including this movie. Whenever I see him, I always start out thinking "Oh hey! It's Captain Nathan Bridger! YOU'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER BOAT!" Then by the end, I have forgetten about SeaQuest and Jaws.

"WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER TOE!" 

Don't worry, you'd get it if you watched this movie.

Image by Gramercy Pictures/Focus Features via IMDB

Lewis is terrific as the side chick, who is in love with Oldman for whatever reason. Lewis is one of those actors that I always love seeing in things. Sciorra brings some depth to the depressed housewife, who knows she's stuck and you can really feel that in her performance. The incredibly talented James Cromwell amd Ron Perlman have small roles in this as well. Lastly of note, David Proval and Tony Sirico, both of whom would go on to be in The Sopranos, are in this and have minor roles.

I also have to bring mention to the other things that almost saved this movie: cinematographer Dariusz Wolski, who did a great job. The movie is shot with tons of great, stylistic angles, making it a joy to look at. Almost makes this movie worth it. Almost.

Lewis is smoking! Get it? Because she's attractive and literally smoking?

Image by Gramercy Pictures/Focus Features via IMDB

Romeo is Bleeding bombed in the box office. It made only $3.3 million against its budget of $10 million. Critics didn't like it, neither did audiences, though Oldman in particular got a lot of praise for the film.

Jon Bon Jovi wrote the song Always for the movie, however... he decided to withhold it after seeing a preview for the film and not liking it. Before you start praising him for his artistic sensibilities though, remember that he did allow Bon Jovi music in Uga Uga and Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed.

Don't point that gun at me, Olin, unless you plan to use it. So I can stop watching your dumb movie.

Image by Gramercy Pictures/Focus Features via IMDB

Before we wrap this one up, let me talk about another song right quick. The song the movie got their title from, Tom Waits' "Romeo is Bleeding." It was a track off Waits' 1978 album, Blue Valentine. I'll be honest and say that I haven't listened to this album, but I did pull up the song for research while writing this review. It's a great track, full of swinging jazz saxophone. Like most of my favorite Tom Waits work, it feels like it should be played in some seedy jazz or blues club at 3 am, though this one is more upbeat than most. The song is about a Mexican gang leader who gets killed in a movie house. Not the same plot of the movie, but I can sort of see where they might have gotten the inspiration from for the title of the movie. You can hear the track here.

Final Verdict:

I can't recommend this movie. I feel like I wanted to like it far more than I did. It was a pleasure to watch and look at, in many ways, just due to the camera work and solid acting, especially from Oldman. But I just could not invest in this, emotionally or intellectually. I didn't care about any character except, maybe Sciorra, her being the only innocent one in this mess. Unfortunately the script is bad, the story is lame, and the action gets way too cartoony. I can't recommend it to anyone outside of Oldman fans and people who like cool 90s era camera work.

There you have it. The crux of the plot summed up in one statement.

Image by Gramercy Pictures/Focus Features via IMDB

But what do you think? Have you taken the time to watch it? Do you like it? What's your favorite Gary Oldman role? Let me know in the comments below! I think mine is a tie between Norman Stansfield in Leon: The Professional and Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg in The Fifth Element. If you want to see Romeo is Bleeding and form your own opinions, you can go to Just Watch for options.

Next time, we go back to 1998 for a more realistic retelling of an old fairy tale. Drew Barrymore and Anjelica Huston star in Ever After: A Cinderella Story. Does this live action adaptation live on happily ever after? Or should it be reduced to cinders at midnight? Find out next time!