WWF - February 1990

Image by WWE via WrestlingForum.com

Oh hey! Didn’t see you there! I was just sitting here thinking about how sometimes things don’t go according to plan. Like this blog, for instance. I had plenty of things to write about this week. Truth be told, my computer is in storage in California. My roommate lets me use her Macbook since she barely uses it. Well, she needed it for the last few days for a project, so no blog. But that’s okay. Sometimes things don’t go as you intended them to go. Much like the WWF in February of 1990.

Saturday Night’s Main Event on January 27 was meant to further the agenda of having Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior collide. The show was also meant to hype The Main Event III in February which featured Hogan defending the WWF Championship against Randy Savage.  But that wasn’t all. There was supposed to be a special guest referee for the match. The undefeated, undisputed, reigning, defending, heavyweight boxing champion of the world… Iron Mike Tyson! “But what,” you might be saying. “Didn’t Mike Tyson first appear in the WWF in 1998?” Yes. Yes, he did. But he was supposed to be at The Main Event III. Check out this rare NBC promo for proof!

So, what happened? In simple terms… Buster Douglas happened.

On February 11, in Tokyo, Japan, James “Buster” Douglas pulled off one of the biggest upsets in the history of boxing, hell history of sports in general. 42-1 odds that Douglas would win. And he knocked Tyson out in the 10th round, suffering the first loss of his career. There's a great short video on ESPN's YouTube Channel about it. After this, Tyson went on a complete media blackout, shutting everything and everyone out for the time being. This included him refereeing Hogan and Savage at The Main Event III.

So, what’s to happen? Well. The fans were promised the heavyweight boxing champion, and that’s just what they got. Buster Douglas stepped in for Tyson at the event, and sadly, it makes it far more forgettable. I can’t even describe how huge Tyson was at this time period. Read my review of 1995’s Tyson biopic for more. But as huge as the Buster Douglas upset was, he was no Mike Tyson. But let’s just get into the event. This is the only WWF event from February of 1990 on the WWE Network.

Image by WWE via Wikipedia

The Main Event III
February 23, 1990
Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, Michigan
Live on NBC
Commentators: Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura

Segment: Opening
The show opens with quick promos from Macho King, Buster Douglas, and Hulk Hogan, all threatening to beat each other up. The best part was Douglas’ manager, telling the champ “pretend they’re Mike Tyson and knock them out” if he needs to.

Segment: Pre-Match Promos
Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Randy Savage, who cuts one of his amazing promos, saying he was glad Tyson pulled out because he learned “that Mike Tyson’s great-grandmother is a loyal to the bone, card-carrying Hulkamaniac, so there’s no way he could have called it down the middle!” Queen Sherri is standing by and gets involved, letting Hogan know that he won’t be defending the WWF Championship at Wrestlemania against The Ultimate Warrior. Savage and Sherri make their way to the ring. Now it’s Hogan’s turn. He’s backstage with Mean Gene and says that he and Douglas have a lot in common, “Believing in God, yourself, your family, and your country. And we share the same dedication and loyalty to a causeway beyond that of any selfish man.” He also says this is “probably the last time I will ever face The Macho King in the ring” which made me lol in real life. But he also warns Douglas to call it right down the middle, otherwise, he was going to walk out “the World Wrestling Federation champion BYBOOM [his words not mine] and the undisputed heavyweight boxing champion too” at the end of the night. Ummmmm. Someone needs to tell The Hulkster that isn’t how it works… Hogan comes out to the ring to a huge ovation. The crowd absolutely loves him. Again, as I said in my last wrestling post, hearing a crowd go bananas when wrestling in May of 2020 has zero or minimal crowds… it’s so different and really reminds you of how important a crowd is. We go backstage again and Mean Gene is with Buster Douglas. Gene does most of the talking, which is good because Douglas isn’t very charismatic. He says he knocked out Tyson “for his country” but Tyson, is American too, so I dunno…  He comes out to a huge ovation from the crowd, who all know who he is and that he knocked Tyson out. While he wouldn’t have the staying power of Tyson, in February of 1990, he was a household name. It was a pretty good opening to get the show started. Savage and Hogan knew how to cut promos and get the crowd hyped. Douglas, for all his lack of charisma, did fine and the crowd was into him.


WWF Championship Match
Hulk Hogan (c) vs. Randy Savage (with Queen Sherri)
Special Outside Referee: James “Buster” Douglas
So I should mention that Douglas is not the regular referee for this, he’s the outside ref. Hogan gets an early advantage in this match, and they collide a few times before Hogan sends Savage outside. He goes to follow but Douglas won’t let him. Savage gets back in the ring and they trade places, Hogan goes outside and Savage can’t follow due to Douglas. Hogan then tricks Savage to knock out Sherri. They go out it, Hogan has the advantage again. Lots of punches and drops and reverse atomic drops. Sherri is back and she trips up Hulk, who in turn grabs her by the afro, which Savage breaks up. Now Savage is in charge, choking out Hogan and kicks and such. Sherri then chokes Hogan while he’s lying on the ring apron. Douglas sees it, breaks it up, and ejects her from ringside, so she’s no longer a factor in this. For some reason, he follows her to the back as well? Okay. He comes back and Savage is firmly in control here. He’s doing his air flying moves and even hits his flying elbow finisher, to which Hogan kicks out of. At first, I thought it was bullcrap, but that was all part of Hogan “Hulking Up.” He no-sells everything Savage throws at him. Points the finger. Draws energy from the crowd. Big boot. Savage rolls out and pulls Hogan out. Savage is back in. Punches Savage, who accidentally knocks the ref out. Hogan Leg Drop. Cover. Buster Douglas is in the ring. 1-2-3.
Winner: Hulk Hogan
Finish: Pinfall
Length: 11:14


After the match, Savage starts badmouthing Douglas. If this sounds familiar, it’s because it has the exact same finish as Shawn Michaels vs. Stone Cold at Wrestlemania XIV with Mike Tyson as the special outside referee. Only this lasts five times as long, Hogan pushes Savage into Douglas, and Savage no-sells Douglas’ first punch and has to take two. Hogan and Douglas now celebrate. You can see some of the match on WWE's Official YouTube Channel. And now it’s time for the second match and main event of The Main Event…

Segment: Pre-Match Promos
The Ultimate Warrior is in the back and delivers one of his usual weird promos about the cosmic power of Mars and the rings of Saturn. We cut back to the ring and Hogan and Douglas are still celebrating. McMahon calls them the “Two undisputed world champions” but… Hogan is very much NOT the undisputed wrestling champion of the world, no matter how much you might want to bury your competition. Jesse Ventura is backstage with Dino Bravo, his manager Jimmy Hart, and Earthquake. Ventura congratulates Bravo ahead of time for winning the Intercontinental Championship, predicting that he will beat Ultimate Warrior in the next match. Bravo tells Warrior that when he faces Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania VI, that Warrior won’t be defending the Intercontinental Championship because Bravo will be the champ. Hart calls Earthquake their “insurance policy” and says that they checked Warrior’s plan and he doesn’t have “Earthquake insurance.” They make their way to the ring, the crowd hates them. Mean Gene is backstage with The Ultimate Warrior and asks him if he has Earthquake insurance. Warrior responds telling him he doesn't need it and “will never need life insurance, for The Warriors all know, the life that flows in their body is NOT THAT OF THE NORMALS. The marrow in these bones is of a different composition. The blood of these veins is of a different consistency.” He should probably get that checked out. Lots of talk about destiny and snorting. He then runs to the ring and bounces off the ropes within seconds.


WWF Intercontinental Championship Match
The Ultimate Warrior (c) vs. Dino Bravo (with Jimmy Hart and Earthquake)
This is a quick match, not a lot to talk of. Warrior no-sells most of Bravo’s offense. Earthquake interferes a few times, in full view of the ref, who does nothing. *rolls eyes* Warrior crawls under the ring and grabs Jimmy Hart, dragging him under. Hart eventually crawls out, screaming, his shirt unbuttoned and not wearing any pants. Gee and I thought Ultimate Warrior was a homophobe. He picks up Hart and tosses him into Earthquake. Hart runs to the back, Earthquake assaults Warrior from behind and throws him into the ring, Bravo takes advantage. He puts Warrior into a bear hug. McMahon calls, “The Warrior breathes a different air than any man I’ve ever known.” Warrior breaks out. Bravo with a side slam. Pin. 1-2-kick out. Warrior starts to, uhh…. “Warrior Up?” He no-sells Bravo again. Clothesline. Second clothesline. Flying shoulder tackle. Splash. 1-2-3.
Winner: The Ultimate Warrior
Finish: Pinfall
Length: 4:11


Some of this match is on WWE's Official YouTube Channel as well. After the bell, Earthquake attacks Warrior, Bravo joins in, and Warrior throws Bravo out. Earthquake starts to have his way with Warrior, elbow drop after elbow drop. He goes for a second rope splash, but Hogan runs out and saves the day! He knocks Earthquake off! But look out Hogan! Warrior is pissed that Hogan assisted him. They start yelling and screaming. Referees try to break it up, they are unable to. Hogan and Warrior are nose to nose! What’s going to happen! Pandemonium! Commercial break!

Segment: Finish
The Main Event comes back reviewing the showdown between Hogan and Warrior at the Royal Rumble. And then the Saturday Night Main Event moments. Backstage, Hulk Hogan is with Vince McMahon, and he claims Warrior is the strongest force he has ever encountered. Hogan yells about how it’s destiny that he and the Warrior collide and “Watcha gonna do” and all that. Now Mean Gene is with the Ultimate Warrior. He grunts and snorts and claims that Hogan is afraid of him. Warrior shows his dressing room, where he has drawn his logo and “Warrior Wildness” on the wall. He also has a posted of himself. Warrior claims to be “the chosen one” like he’s Jeff Jarrett or something. We go to commercial and come back to finish up the show, Mean Gene is with Buster Douglas. He says he’s going to go out drinking with Hogan after the show. Mean Gene is shocked and appalled at the prospect. Douglas tells him “Hogan is a buttermilk guy and I’m a whole milk guy.” Milk-o-mania runs wild on The Main Event. The show finishes with Ventura and McMahon hyping Wrestlemania VI.


Overall
I didn’t care for this show as much as the previous Saturday Night’s Main Event. Hogan and Savage were good but not as good as their Wrestlemania V match. The addition of Buster Douglas, while it may have helped draw ratings in 1990, was not as interesting to watch in 2020. Warrior and Bravo were mildly entertaining, but too short and not a lot happened. The promos were fine, but I really didn’t need three separate Hulk Hogan promos on this show. This was all just average for me.


So that’s it for the WWF in February of 1990 on the WWE Network. You should tune into the Network and watch the show, form your own opinion, and let me know what you thought. How do you like the build towards The Ultimate Challenge at Wrestlemania VI?

There isn’t a full show until April, the aforementioned Wrestlemania VI, but there are some clips of various things on the WWE Network from Match 1990, so we’ll take a look at those soon and see if they’re worth watching.

Also worthy of note, on February 21, the WWF Women’s Championship was deactivated, with Rockin’ Robin being the final champion. It would not be renewed until late in 1993.

And stay tuned in a couple of days for WCW’s February 1990 output, the Clash of Champions X, and the PPV WrestleWar. Stay tuned!

Side note of interest. Mike Tyson has recently returned to the world of professional wrestling as........ a special outside referee at AEW's Double or Nothing show. Again. And then confronting Chris Jericho at a recent AEW Dynamite. Chaos!

 Image by AEW via Essentially Sports

**********************************************************************************
A short glossary of wrestling promotions mentioned, but not abbreviated.
WWF - World Wrestling Federation
WWE - World Wrestling Entertainment
WCW - World Championship Wrestling
NWA - National Wrestling Alliance
Click here for a glossary of wrestling terms, incase I said something that doesn’t make sense to you.

**********************************************************************************
Misc Wrestling Stuff - February 1990


Other Events:
February 12 - NJPW Super Fight in Tokyo Dome
February 12 - FMW Battle Brave in Korakuen

Born to Ride (1991)

 

Image by Warner Bros via IMDB

Hey readers! I hope your week has been a blast. Or as much as it could be with everything happening in the world right now. Still waiting for the Murder Hornets to descend from Washington to here in Portland, but until then, it’s time for another review! I hope you enjoy it.

One of the most popular sitcoms of the late 80s and early 90s was a little show you might have heard of called Full House. Bob Saget played a single father to three daughters and had two of his friends move in to help him, played by Dave Coulier and John Stamos. Full House brought the world Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, the Olsen Twins, who took turns playing the part of the youngest daughter, Michelle. The Olsens became a phenomenon in their own right, with a whole franchise revolving around straight-to-VHS specials and video games and the like. The show was popular with its wholesome, family themes. In stark contrast to the darker, real-life story of the Olsens or the X-rated adult brand humor Bob Saget was known for. Or for Dave Coulier breaking Alanis Morisette's heart and helping to inspire parts of her 1995 album Jagged Little Pill. One day I’ll do a retrospective on the show. I’m not going to do a full-on review, because I don’t love Full House enough to watch all 192 episodes of it. But it’s culturally significant enough to talk more about the show and the behind-the-scenes in detail.

The show premiered in 1987 and, in 1991, John Stamos tried his hand at being a bad boy motorcycle rider in the film Born to Ride. Stamos had been in a movie previously, playing secret agent Lance Stargrove in 1986’s Never Too Young to Die. But Born to Ride was his attempt to be an action movie star. On Full House, Stamos played “Uncle” Jesse, a washed-up rock musician who was always concerned with how awesome his long hair looked and had an Elvis obsession. That’s not too far from Born to Ride, where he’s still concerned with his looks and image but is this time trying to ape off Marlon Brando and James Dean.

Uncle Jesse: Rebel Without a Wild One

Image by Warner Bros via IMDB

So the movie starts with Stamos and his gang riding down the road. Rock and Roll music is playing and Uncle Jesse is riding without his helmet on, to show off his awesome hair, which is somehow perfectly in place despite riding down the road. Maybe it’s because they look like they’re going about 10 miles an hour. Oh, and he has a cigar he’s smoking as well because he’s so cool. He sees a lady drive by in a convertible who is not Full House’s Aunt Becky, but instead Teri Polo. Stamos decides to split off from his outlaw gang and follow her. He rides up, throws his lit cigar into the brush, and awkwardly hits on the lady. She speeds up and her scarf flies off her head and straight into Uncle Jesse’s hand, which he then sniffs like a 13-year-old pervert in his sister’s underwear drawer. And we’re only two minutes into this movie, folks.

The movie is set pre-WWII. Sandy McPeak does the role of Colonel James E. Devers, the CO of the US Army’s 36th Cavalry Division. He’s instructed to upgrade his troops from horses to motorcycles. Polo drives onto the base, seemingly dashing Stamos’ hopes of courtship. She makes her way to a demonstration area, revealing her to be the daughter of Colonel Devers. The 36th Calvery Division is providing a demonstration for some higher-ups, a ceremony where they retire the horses and show off their badass motorcycle riding. I don’t know who decided these guys knew what they were doing, as they could barely sit on their bikes without falling off. It’s a disaster. And here comes Uncle Jesse, crashing the demonstration, and trying to impress Polo, so he rides by a few times, doing tricks on his bike, trying to get her attention like a bird in heat. But all that leads to is getting caught by the police.

Stamos is arrested and taken to jail and visited by the Colonel. Why Stamos wasn’t in the stockade for trespassing and vandalizing a military installation, or ya know shot onsight for doing so with a war in Europe going on, I don’t know. Because this is the Magic of Cinema. So anyway, Stamos did some sick tricks on his bike, and so the Colonel wants to recruit him and have him teach his calvary how to ride motorcycles. So he does, gains the rank of Corporal, and doesn’t have to do boot camp, so he keeps his hair.

 

So sexy

Image by Warner Bros via IMDB

The first half of the movie revolves around Stamos teaching the division all about motorcycles. It’s almost an interesting movie, as he’s a total military outsider and has to learn how to fit in with the boys. He takes them off base and gets them drunk and teaches them how to do tricks. He has a rivalry with Captain Jack Hassler (John Stockwell) over his training methods and the heart of Polo. They end up in a fistfight, which is alright, but not nearly as good as the fight between Richard Gere and Louis Gossett Jr in An Officer and a Gentleman. Anyway, Stamos wears down and romances Polo, they take rides on his bike together, etc. Everyone ends up bonding and getting closer together, after the fight. It’s typical Hollywood military storytelling.

But there’s another part of the movie. Eventually, the State Department comes to talk to the good Colonel. The official is played by Garrick Hagon, who was Luke Skywalker’s childhood friend Biggs Darklighter in Star Wars, glad to see he’s getting work in 1991. Biggs tells the Colonel about a leading US nuclear scientist, Dr. Tate (Ed Bishop, known for the British science fiction shows UFO and Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons). Dr. Tate and his daughter have been kidnapped by Franco and the Spanish, and they are negotiating with Hitler to send them to Germany, to work on their atom bomb program! Dr. Tate is being held in a fortress, and the only way to get there is a conveniently placed horse/motorcycle trail. But they can’t just “send in the calvary” because of international incidents and such, because the USA isn’t technically at war yet. But as fate would have it, there is a famous motorcycle touring rally being held in Spain that goes near the fortress. Biggs has a great plan to send the 36th Calvary in undercover as racers, but they only have two weeks to get their men ready! They get a crash course and become experts on motorbikes, just in time to deploy on their undercover mission. Stamos, who originally doesn’t want to go along, ends up convincing the Colonel to let him tag along at the last minute. He wants to help and he can’t look good in the Spanish countryside with his cool hair if he stays at home.

His shirt has just the right amount of buttons undone

Image by Warner Bros via IMDB

They get to Spain, a Nazi officer starts questioning the team about their bikes, and oh no they’re going to get found out! But Uncle Jesse saves the day by getting in the Nazi’s face. The Nazi can’t handle Stamos’ hair and backs off. The next day, they enter the race and split off at the right point, stealthy driving their motorcycles into the woods. I will say, this is one of the few times when Stamos wears a leather riding helmet. Which still doesn’t mess up his hair when he takes it off. The riders come across a very steep ravine, to which Stamos quips “Motorcycles weren’t meant for this!” and rides off anyway. They all make it. Except for one rider. He punctured his fuel tank and blows up. It’s supposed to be a solemn moment but, the sound effects they use… they use like an effect that sounds like an old western revolver bouncing off the wall. It made me laugh, the exact opposite of what they were trying to convey in that scene.

The crew makes it to the castle, breaks in, ends up in a shootout with the Spaniards guarding it, all while fast heavy metal music is playing in the background. They find out the doctor and his daughter are on a train, so the infiltration was for naught. They gotta make that train! So they ride their bikes, take out a Spanish machine gun nest by… laying down a smokescreen and then riding a motorcycle over the nest and dropping a grenade. I guess the Spanish army dudes couldn’t tell what direction the motorcycle was coming from, even though it was coming at a straight line. No wonder Franco lost the war.

 

Rats! Foiled again! That's why he has only one medal.

Image via Wiki Commons

But now, they have to contend with professionals: The Nazi’s. They make it to the train and rescue the doctor and his family. But the Krauts are onto them! The good guys kinda split up and Uncle Jesse and his rival Captain Jack are in the rear of this group. Two German planes fly overhead and turn around to attack them. I don’t know why they didn’t attack from behind. But they get dumber, don’t worry. The heroes end up riding around in circles and cause the planes to crash into each other.

But we’re not done yet. The Doctor, his daughter, and the rest of the team make it to the rescue airplane. Biggs Darklighter is there and wants to leave right away. Stamos and Captain Jack show up on the horizon and make a beeline for the plane. But oh no! Jack’s motorbike gets shot out from underneath him! It’s the Nazi from the bar earlier! Foreshadowing! The plane begins to roll down the runway to take off and Stamos has a plan. He rides headfirst at the Nazi, with a dramatic look on his face, and pops a wheelie yelling “Let’s play chicken!” The Jerry's are shooting him, hitting his bike, which has extra armor on it I guess? I don’t know. But he ends up causing the Germans to wipe out their ride, without even getting close to them. So he swings by to pick up Jack and rides towards the plane, which still is driving down the runway, and they get Jack on through an open door at the side. Uncle Jesse hesitates to get on, because “You know how much I hate flying!” and then laments the loss of his bike after he reluctantly leaves for safety. The movie ends with him riding down the road, on a new motorcycle, with his uniform on but unbuttoned at the collar, and again no helmet. He rides up to meet Polo who forces him to go horseriding instead of them riding on his bike. Uncle Jesse is not a horse guy, so he awkwardly rides bitch, and they gallop off while “Born to Be Wild” plays and the credits roll.  The Axis is defeated. No wonder Hitler lost the war.

  

Hitler always liked Uncle Joey to Uncle Jesse

Image via Wiki Commons

This movie was clearly custom built and designed to get John Stamos over as a new generation Steve McQueen. He wears his Brando influences on his sleeve. But the problem is, he’s not nearly talented enough to be a James Dean or Peter Fonda or Dennis Hopper. Stamos wanted so hard to be a rebel rock star in this time period. He had the cool rocker hair and did the “Thank you very much” Elvis impersonations on Full House. He was the drummer in the music video for “Kokomo” by the Beach Boys in 1988. And so many shots of him in this movie are designed to make him look cool as hell, but he’s not cool as hell. I know I made a lot of hair jokes in this review, but he even gets mad when people mess with his hair in the movie! He brought it upon himself. Stamos wouldn’t be in another movie in the 90s, and while he has been in some low budget films since then, his biggest movie was probably My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 from 2016, and he had only a small role in that.

Born to Ride was directed by Graham Baker, who has a small but interesting filmography, including The Omen III: The Final Conflict (1981), Impulse (1984), Alien Nation (1988) and a version of Beowulf (1999) starring Christopher Lambert from Highlander and Mortal Kombat. A lot of sci-fi and fantasy B-movie stuff, and… Born to Ride. It sticks out from his other work. Honestly I’ve only seen Omen III and Alien Nation, but I liked both of those. I guess he needed to pay his mortgage and did this movie.

The music in Born to Ride is all over the place, all of it at least 20 years after the movie takes place. I’m not going to pick on it for that, though, because it still manages to fit what they were going for. If I was going to bring it down for that, I’d also have to bring down the 2013 Great Gatsby movie and its inspired hip-hop soundtrack, and I will do no such thing.

I don’t have the box office or budget info for this movie, but it was a critical flop. Released on May 3, 1991, it was panned in the press. According to this article from the Seattle Times, it apparently got a very limited run in theaters and was not shown in Seattle. The article is about the VHS release, which you could pick up for $93 in 1991. All the movies in this article are super expensive, I know VHS prices were far more reasonable at this time, so I don’t know what the heck they’re talking about.

 

Hey! Don't give me that look! I'll be nice...

Image via Flickr

Look, I don’t want to end this totally picking on Stamos. He’s Greek and I’m part Greek, which means he isn’t all bad, even though he’s not cool and his film career flatlined. And hey, I’m not cool and have no film career at all! So he’s doing better than me. And he has made a career out of television. Full House was a monster success. He played one of the leads on ER for four years. In the last few years, he was one of the main characters on Grandfathered and Scream Queens and You. He had an internet talk show where he would interview celebrities about how they lost their virginity. Most recently he was Chef Louis in the TV special The Little Mermaid Live! So he’s been busy and had a career and done work that people remember years later, that’s nothing to balk at.

Final Thoughts

Okay, here’s the bottom line. I really don’t like this movie. The plot was contrived and stupid. Stamos was awful. The production was average, it felt more like a TV movie than a real motion picture. I can’t recommend it unless you are a huge fan of John Stamos and want to see anything and everything Uncle Jesse has ever done. Nothing else to say about it at this point. I don’t remember ever hearing about this movie until about a year ago and I was shocked that it existed. I kind of wish now that I didn’t know about it. Except I wish that this motorcycle movie had featured Card Games on Motorcycles.

Anyway, that’s what I thought about it. If you want to see it, go to Just Watch to find where it’s steaming. Did you like it? Or no? If yay or nay, doesn’t matter, let me know in the comments below.

Next time, we’re going to do an action movie. Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren collide in 1992’s Universal Soldier. Does this franchise starter still have universal appeal? Or should it have been left KIA on the battlefield? Find out next time!

Twin Peaks - TV (1990-1991)

Image by ABC/Showtime via Pinterest

Hey guys, sorry for the delays this last week. I'm back on some medications I've been off of for a while and it's been altering my mood and I've been physically kinda blah. That's all just from readjusting though, so don't worry. I'm back today with my first TV review! I hope you enjoy!

When I originally decided to start this blog, I absolutely wanted to talk about television as well as movies. Today, it feels like those two mediums go hand-in-hand. Many shows are almost like movies with their budgets and production values. Actors famous from films will now do Amazon Prime TV shows. David Fincher was/is an acclaimed film director, but also was the mastermind behind the Netflix hit shows House of Cards and Mindhunter. But this wasn’t always the case.

Things were different back in the day, including the angles we'd sit at to watch TV

Image via Flickr

Back in the day, you might have some people get their start on TV before moving onto films. And you had falling stars transition to television after their box office appeal drops. If you look at the filmography of nearly anyone you can think of, you’ll see both TV and movie credits in their resume. But it’s a pretty solid fact that most actors and actresses and directors and such were either a film star or a TV star. Very few were known for both. That all really began to change in the 90s.

The first show I wanted to review for this blog was the animated series The Critic. It ran for two short seasons from 1994-1995 on ABC and then FOX. Jon Lovitz voiced the main character, a film critic, and the show poked fun at many movies and celebrities of the day, showing clips and trailers for fake movies Howard Stern’s End (parody of Howard’s End) and Speed 2: Speed Reading. I thought that, since this blog is a review of movies from this time period, what better show to start off with than this one? But I realized I needed to talk about another show first: Twin Peaks.

 

The obsession of America

Image by ABC/Showtime via IMDB

In thinking about other shows in the next few months that I was going to write about: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, The X-Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, even animated flair like Spider-Man: The Animated Series… I decided the first thing I should talk about was the show that helped transition into the type of ongoing narrative that these shows all had in common.

Now, don’t misunderstand me. The magical thing about Twin Peaks wasn’t in that it created any individual part anew. But rather how it combined certain things and, with sharp writing and acting, created something that had never before been seen on television. Twin Peaks was a phenomenon in 1990, and it’s hard to explain today. But I’m going to try.

Let’s start with the story. The show was created by notable filmmaker David Lynch and his partner, TV writer Mark Frost. At its core, Twin Peaks is a murder mystery. A young high school student, Laura Palmer (Sheryl Lee) is found dead by a river, wrapped in plastic. The local police can’t make anything of it, so they call for help to the FBI and they send in Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan). The show descends from there into a dozen different storylines. I don’t want to go into detail on them here, because half the fun of watching the show is seeing where it takes you. In one of the videos I’ll link below, Lynch describes Laura’s death as a tree with all these different branches springing out of it.

One of Lynch’s core storytelling tropes is the unraveling of the “American Dream.” You see that in his movies like Eraserhead and Blue Velvet and Mulholland Drive. You’re presented with a beautiful, picturesque, ideal version of American life. Then you see something shocking and disturbing. And suddenly, the layers start to come off, like an onion. And as they peel away over and over, you see that the onion was really rotten on the inside and you realize that, even though you might not have seen it on the surface, this onion was dark and disgusting underneath. Laura has been presented as a do-no-wrong, straight-A Queen of the Prom who loves to do charity work and loves her boyfriend and the further the authorities and characters investigate her murder, they see how dark her life really was. And the branches that come out of her tree get darker as well. Some of them are explained by ordinary criminals. Some branches are the result of more… supernatural activities. As Cooper and the police investigate, they get further and further swept into the unknown, a dark evil presence that resides in the woods and lives in a place called “The Lounge.” The show gets incredibly surreal at times, with The Lodge and its inhabitants using vague metaphors and exhibiting behavior and movements that are… a bit off.

Photos don't do this justice. These scenes are weird. Just watch the show...

Image by ABC/Showtime via IMDB

Who killed Laura Palmer? That was the question on everyone’s minds. It was a literal watercooler discussion the next morning at work. There’s an urban legend that a huge fan of the show was none other than Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev. It’s said that he actually called up US President George HW. Bush and asked him to find out who did it. Bush contacted Lynch who refused to tell them. It seems a little far fetched, apparently since Gorbachev doesn’t even recall the show today, but I digress. Read about it here. The point is, America was obsessed with knowing who did it. And this is where Twin Peaks brought in the biggest change to television in the 90s: Long-form storytelling.

Now, “long-form storytelling” existed before this show. Soap operas had been a thing since the days of radio. Hell, books used to be serialized in newspapers back in the 1800s, that’s how many literally classics from people like Charles Dickens got their work out there. In the world of television, there were soap operas. There were prime-time soap operas like Dynasty and Dallas, the latter of which was famous for its “Who shot JR?” mystery. And there were shows like Hill Street Blues and Cheers that let storylines sizzle over episodes, but there was always a return to the basic status quo after an episode or two. Twin Peaks was one of the early shows to buck that and keep the show evolving and changing from episode to episode. Later shows, like The X-Files, created a fusion of the two concepts, so where you would have an ongoing storyline throughout the run of the series, but also individual stand-alone episodes. Twin Peaks though, every episode was must-watch, otherwise, you’d be lost in the flow.

 

The show can turn your brain to this. It's wonderful!

Image by ABC/Showtime via IMDB

Sadly, the series ended after only 30 episodes and two seasons. The last episode airing on June 10, 1991. Unfortunately, while they were pushing for a third season, declining ratings caused the network to cancel the show. The sad truth is, the second season is good, but not quite as good as the first. The network forced Lynch to wrap up the Laura Palmer murder storyline early and he basically stepped away from the show until the end of the season. Sad, really, since the show ended on a huge cliffhanger and had many, many loose plot threads. But don’t let that deter you from watching that, especially since that would not be the end of Twin Peaks.

 

With a cliffhanger it would take over two decades to resolve!

Image by ABC/Showtime via IMDB

Let’s talk about the cast. Twin Peaks has a huge, ensemble cast. Ready? Okay, here we go, try to keep up. In addition to Cooper and Laura Palmer, some of the other standout characters: Laura’s mother and father, Sarah and Leland (Grace Zabriskie and Ray Wise). There was Laura’s boyfriend, Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook), and her two friends Donna Hayward and James Hurley (Lara Flynn Boyle and James Marshall). Leland Palmer was also the lawyer for businessman and the owner of the Great Northern Hotel, Benjamin Horne (Richard Beymer), who works with his brother Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) and has a daughter, Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn). They are involved with a land-deal with a lumbermill owned by Josie Packard (Joan Chen) and her sister-in-law Catherine Martell (Piper Laurie) and her husband Pete (Jack Nance). Let’s see… oh, there is also the Double R dinner ran by Norma Jennings (Peggy Lipton) who employs a young waitress, Shelly Johnson (Madchen Amick). They are both married to unscrupulous individuals, Hank Jennings (Chris Mulkey) and Leo Johnson (Eric Da Re). Shelly is friends with Bobby Briggs and Norma has a past with Ed Hurley (Everett McGill) who is married to Nadine (Wendy Robie) and is also Bobby’s uncle. Then, of course, we have the local police force, led by Sheriff Harry S. Truman (Michael Ontkean), Deputy Andy Brennan (Harry Goaz), and Deputy Hawk (Michael Horse). Lucy Moran (Kimmy Robertson) is the station secretary. Assisting Cooper and the local police are FBI Special Agent Albert Rosenfield (Miguel Ferrer) and Bureau Chief Gordon Cole (played amazingly by David Lynch himself). Then there are the supernatural characters: Killer Bob (Frank Silva), The One-Armed Man (Al Strobel), The Giant (Carel Struycken), and The Man from Another Place (Michael J Anderson). Other important characters include psychiatrist Dr. Lawrence Jacoby (Russ Tomblyn) and The Log Lady (Catherine E. Coulson). And we also had some small roles from Heather Graham (Norma Jenning’s sister, Annie Blackburn) and Billy Zane (John Justice Wheeler, involved in business with Ben Horne). And there are dozens of smaller characters I didn’t mention. And what’s amazing is they’re all important, some more than others sure, but you need them all for the story to work. And it’s easier to keep track of them and their relationships with each other than you might think. And really, except for a bad egg here and there, all of them play their parts well and do their characters justice.

There were a couple of other characters that I wanted to mention separately because I wanted to elaborate on them a bit more. Sheryl Lee was originally supposed to play Laura Palmer’s dead body and also some camcorder footage. The thing is though, she’s captivating. And Lynch recognized that. So what did he do? He wrote the actress back into the show with a new character, Laura’s identical cousin, Madeline Ferguson.

Again, a still shot doesn't do this justice. Watch the show, she's captivating in this small bit.

Image by ABC/Showtime via Medium.com

The same thing happened with the One-Armed Man, played by Strobel. The character was supposed to be just a one-off, but Lynch wrote him in after being so impressed by him. And of course, Killer Bob, Frank Silva… Frank was a set dresser and, at the end of the first episode, was accidentally reflected in the mirror of a scene where Laura’s mother was having a nervous breakdown. Lynch loved it and wrote the Killer Bob character for Silva to play throughout the run of the show. Don Davis plays Bobby Briggs’ father, Major Garland Briggs. He’s in the air force and ends up being important to the plot. I think it’s hilarious because there are three roles that I know this actor for. Twin Peaks (air force major), playing Scully’s father in The X-Files (navy captain), and being the leader of the Stargate project in Stargate SG-1 (army general). Literally, everything I can easily remember seeing him in, he’s been an officer in some branch of the military, but Twin Peaks was his first big break.

Speaking of first big breaks and the X-Files, David Duchovny shows up in this as well as a DEA Agent…. Denise Bryson. Duchovny plays a Transgender. In 1990 on network television. And if I’m honest with you, I think it’s handled extremely tastefully. Sure, at the time, it fit the overall “weird” vibe of the show. But it’s not played for laughs. When asked about it, Duchovny’s character explains that she had to dress in drag to go undercover and it really just felt natural to her afterward. And it’s not something that’s really… I mean, it isn’t completely ignored on the show, but it’s not like every scene is “Hey! Look! A man in a dress! That’s funny and weird and unnatural!” Most of the time it’s just… treated normally. Pretty progressive, especially for the time.

I think she's pretty, I don't care what anyone might say

Image by ABC/Showtime via IMDB

The other big change Twin Peaks brought to television, beyond serialized storytelling, was it’s amazing presentation. For many, many years, films were shot one way and TV shot another. Two completely different styles. Lynch decided to use more of his cinematic style for Twin Peaks. The show looked like a movie. Using alternative camera angles, taking advantage of depth of field, color composition… really paying attention to what you were shooting. The music was composed by Lynch and composer Angelo Badalamenti. The soundtrack is still, to this day, considered one of the best in television history. Creative uses of music to convey feelings for different characters and moods. Combining the plot, acting, camera work, music, and using that to emotionally impact the audience. Again, these are not new ideas, and some of them had been used on TV before. But coming altogether, with this bizarre, long-form story, and you really have some combination unlike what had really been seen on TV at this point. Watch The X-Files, which came out a few years after, and you can see the influence of Twin Peaks plain as day.

Psych was another show Twin Peaks had a strong influence on, even having an episode called “Dual Spires” that was a tribute to Twin Peaks, containing many references to the show and having much of the original cast guest star in the episode. The Killing, Bates Motel, and Gravity Falls are other contemporary programs that have cited Twin Peaks as a reference. It was parodied by The Simpsons in the episode “Lisa’s Sax” as well as “Who Shot Mr. Burns?” Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated, Saturday Night Live, Northern Exposure (which was filmed in Roslyn, Washington, near the Twin Peaks locations), and Sesame Street of all things have all done parody scenes or made references to Twin Peaks. The Sesame Street in particular one is hilarious, as Cookie Monster plays “Agent Cookie” travels to Twin Beaks and eats some “darn good pie.” He’s trying to find out why the town is called Twin Beaks and asks birds David Finch and Laura and doesn’t get a “darn fine answer.” And the Twin Peaks influences extend to video games as well, notably in Alan Wake, Deadly Premonition, Life is Strange, and the Silent Hill series. But also on Max Payne, Mizzurna Falls, and even parts of The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening. Many bands have also written songs about the show, including “Laura Palmer” by Bastille and “North Bend” by Lovely Bad Things.

 

Twin Peaks references are fun to keep an eye out for

Image by ABC/Showtime via IMDB

The show was originally going to be set in, and titled, North Dakota. Then they moved it to the Pacific Northwest and called it Northwest Passage, before finally going with Twin Peaks. The idea for the Laura Palmer murder sprang from the real-life unsolved 1908 murder of Hazel Irene Drew in Sand Lake, New York. You can see more about that here. Lynch and Frost met and became friends while working on a Marilyn Monroe biopic that was later shelved by Warner Bros. And it was Lynch’s manager, Tony Krantz, that convinced Lynch to do a show about his vision of America like he did in Blue Velvet. Lynch and Frost worked on the concept and pitched it to ABC in 1988. ABC greenlit the project and they filmed a pilot. An interesting note about the pilot is that they filmed an actual ending. The idea was, if ABC didn’t want to pick up the series after seeing the pilot, they could use it as a made-for-TV movie. This version did actually see a release in theaters and home video. Honestly, it isn’t all that amazing. But if you’re curious, it’s on YouTube, you can see the Alternate Ending here. I don’t recommend watching it unless you’ve seen the show already.

 

Actual screenshot from the alternate finale

Image via Flicker

The fictional town of Twin Peaks is in Washington state “five miles south of the Canadian border, and twelve miles west of the state line.” That would put it in the Salmo-Priest Wilderness. The shooting locations were mostly in Washington also, the towns of Snoqualmie, North Bend, and Fall City. Living in Portland, I am 3-4 hours away from these towns, and absolutely plan on making a pilgrimage to what is my own personal Mecca. Some locations were shot in Malibu, California, and some interiors in a warehouse in San Fernando, CA. In August 1992, Lynch decided to have the premiere of the movie Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me in North Bend. It was an exciting festival and some fans of the show thought it would be great to have an organized event there every year, thus Twin Peaks Fest was born. Every year, hundreds would congregate and they would have organized tours, meet and greets with various actors, and screenings of other David Lynch films. In 2019, CBS decided to move in and make the Twin Peaks Festival an official event, moving its location to Memphis, Tennessee. The festival was supposed to take place in April but was moved to Halloween weekend due to COVID-19. You can read about the announcement of the move on this website and also visit the old Twin Peaks Festival site for more info about the old event.

 

I mean, Memphis is great and all, I adore it... but Memphis doesn't have the Snoqualmie Falls Lodge in Snoqualmie, Washington, where the exteriors for the Great Northern Hotel was shot for the show

Image by ABC/CBS/Showtime via IMDB

There is so much I could talk about, there are literally books written on this show. If you want to go down the rabbit hole of Twin Peaks, here are some recommended YouTube videos and websites. The Take’s What’s So Great About Twin Peaks, WhatCulture’s 10 Mind-Blowing Facts You Didn’t Know About Twin Peaks, CineFix’s 7 Things You (Probably) Didn’t Know About Twin Peaks, Angelo Badalamenti explains how he wrote Laura Palmer’s theme, Twin Peaks Stars Explain Why The Show Was A Cultural Phenomenon, Polygon’s Why Twin Peaks Doesn’t Need Jump Scares, ScreenCrush’s Twin Peaks - So You Think You Know TV?, Looper’s The Untold Truth of Twin Peaks, Lynch and Frost being interviewed by the BBC in April of 1990, and Lynch on Late Night with David Letterman on February 27, 1991. Phew. That's a lot, but it's all highly entertaining. If you really, really, really want to go down the rabbit hole… Twin Perfect has a 4.5 hour long video explaining the entire franchise, including the movie and Showtime series. You can see it here and his near 1.5 hour long “more evidence” video here. I haven’t watched them, I don’t want to watch 7 hours of someone telling me what a show means, but I thought their existence was interesting enough to include here. A great resource on the show is Welcome to Twin Peaks, very comprehensive news and fansite for the show, they have a lot of sections and it’s fun to poke around and see what’s on there.

There is more Twin Peaks after the two seasons aired in the early 90s. In 1992, David Lynch released a theatrical feature film called Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me. It serves as both a sequel and prequel to the show but does not resolve the cliffhanger ending or any of the loose threads. Honestly, it isn’t that good. I’ll review it more in-depth at a later time. But it is required watching for the next chapter of the franchise, Twin Peaks: The Return. An 18-episode event that aired on Showtime in 2017. And boy, is it a trip. I’m not focusing on that today because, while these seasons are set in the same story, the presentation is vastly different. If Twin Peaks was unique for 1990, then The Return is unlike anything ever done on television before. I highly recommend watching it.

 

Literally my face when I heard about Twin Peaks: The Return

Image by ABC/CBS/Showtime via IMDB

There are also several, official, canon books. David’s daughter, Jennifer Lynch, wrote “The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer” in 1990. The next year, we were treated to “‘Diane…’ The Twin Peaks Tapes of Agent Cooper” which was an audiotape written by Scott Frost, brother of Mark, and narrated by Kyle MacLachlan. Awesomely enough, the recording was nominated for Best Spoken Word Album at the 1991 Grammy Awards. It lost to George Burns’ narration of “Gracie: A Love Story.” And, okay… fine. Burns reading about the love he shared with his wife can have that one. Also in 1991, Scott Frost wrote “The Autobiography of F.B.I. Special Agent Dale Cooper: My Life, My Tapes.” Finally, Lynch, Mark Frost, and Richard Saul Wurman write a parody travel guide called “Welcome to Twin Peaks: An Access Guide to the Town.” Years later, we got two more books. In 2016, Mark Frost wrote “The Secret History of Twin Peaks” which actually clears up some of the unresolved plotlines from the show. Lastly, in 2017, Frost gave us “Twin Peaks: The Final Dossier” which bridges the gap between seasons 2 and 3 of the show.

The horses are not what they seem

Image by ABC/Showtime via IMDB

Final Thoughts:

 

The show is for sure one of my favorite of all time. Groundbreaking and entertaining and something that I still think about years after seeing it for the first time. I can’t think of much more to say about it that I haven’t already waxed poetically about in the above talk. I guess I should add what I remember about the show when it was originally on the air. Not much. I was 8 when it debuted and had parents that were very strict with what I watched. I’m not sure I would have enjoyed or appreciated it anyway if I had seen it. I know my aunt was into it and I was aware of how popular it was. But I didn’t get around to watching it until years later. Remember, we didn’t have Netflix back then, I couldn’t binge it! My real earliest exposure to it was a Darkwing Duck episode called “Twin Beaks” where they travel to the mysterious town of Twin Beaks and find Bushroot wrapped in plastic. Darkwing has a dream where Launchpad tells him “The Cows Are Not What They Seem.” The episode honestly shares a lot in common with other creepy sci-fi, specifically Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Night of the Living Dead, but there are some strong Twin Peaks vibes here. It was one of the episodes that really stuck with me, since it was so odd and unusual and, honestly, a little bit scary. But anyway, I love Twin Peaks and I highly recommend it to anyone who wants a quirky mystery.

  

Damn good show

Image by ABC/Showtime via IMDB

But that’s just what I think. Have you seen it? I know some of you out there have. If not, visit Just Watch to see where it’s streaming. And remember to watch the movie if you want to tackle the third season, which I highly recommend also. Leave me a comment down below about your favorite character or episode or song used in the show or anything else you’d like to say. And check back eventually for a review of Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me and down the road, when I do my Lit Fam 2010's Blog, I'll talk about Twin Peaks: The Return. So, I guess I'll see you again in 25 years. Meanwhile...

Next time, we’re gonna look at a cartoon and start working out way through Marvel’s 90s Animated Universe. Let’s check out Spider-Man: The Animated Series (1994-1998). Does this cartoon do the web-slinger justice? Or does Spidey get emo and dance again for the first time? Find out next time!

WWF - January 1990

 Image by WWE via WrestlingForum.com

Hello hello! That’s for checking this out. As I said when I came back, I want to do something different with this blog. I want to encompass many different things from the 90s, and professional wrestling is one of them. I love pro wrestling, I have since the 90s, and it’s my blog. I want to write about it because I love it and want to share that love. So let’s get into it!

In early 1990, if you were a kid, you had to pick between the two biggest names in the WWF. Were you a Hulkamaniac and support Hulk Hogan? Or were you a Little Warrior and get behind The Ultimate Warrior? Even if you didn’t watch wrestling, you had to choose. I was a Hulkamaniac, myself. I remember I had some trading cards from this era, with Hogan, Warrior, Andre the Giant, Macho Man, Miss Elizabeth, Big Boss Man, and some others. So I knew who these guys were before I actually started watching, years later.

There was a WCW at the time, but out in California… no one knew about or cared about WCW in 1990. Jim Crockett? The NWA? What’s that? Some of that southern’ rasslin’ they show on TBS. So for us, kids in the Bay Area in California in 1990… it was all about Hogan and the Warrior.

Hogan was on top of the world in 1990. We were all saying our prayers and eating our vitamins and believing in ourselves.

Image via Flickr

Before we get started, just for continuity sake, here are the various World Wrestling Federation champions going into January 1990:
WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan
WWF Intercontinental Champion: The Ultimate Warrior
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Colossal Connection (Andre the Giant and Haku)
WWF Woman’s Champion: Rockin’ Robin
Million Dollar Champion: Ted DiBiase

And here’s a short glossary of wrestling promotions mentioned, but not abbreviated.
WWF - World Wrestling Federation
WWE - World Wrestling Entertainment
WCW - World Championship Wrestling
NWA - National Wrestling Alliance
Click here for a glossary of wrestling terms, incase I said something that doesn’t make sense to you.

Like I said previously, when doing these wrestling things, I’m pretty much just going to be using the WWE Network because I don’t have the time or feel like looking for every show that was aired on YouTube or Dailymotion. Some shows won’t be there anyway, so screw it. I got some of my info for this post from listening to episodes of two podcasts: Bruce Prichard’s Something to Wrestle and Tony Schiavone’s What Happened When.

There are only two WWF events from January on the WWE Network. Both shows were significant and important in the build towards Wrestlemania VI in April. We had The Royal Rumble pay-per-view and Saturday Night’s Main Event XXV. So let’s just get into them!

 

Image by WWE via IMDB

Royal Rumble
January 20, 1990
Orlando Arena in Orlando Florida
Live on Pay-Per-View
Commentators: Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura

Segment: Opening
Tons of opening promos, all quick and designed to get themselves over for the Royal Rumble match. An entertaining opening, I enjoyed seeing it, and a good way to get pumped for the show. We see our commentators, Schiavone and Ventura. Ventura looks ridiculous, wearing Mickey Mouse ears and a Disney sweater. Schiavone relates in his podcast that he got the chance to call this event at the last minute, due to Vince McMahon not feeling up to it.

The Bushwhackers (Butch & Luke) vs. The Fabulous Rougeaus (Jacques Rougeau & Raymond Rougeau) (with Jimmy Hart)
This was a fun little opener to the show, but not a great match. The Bushwhackers were never known for their technical prowess. Jimmy Hart tries to interfere, in full sight of the referee and gets pulled into the ring by Luke for his troubles. Why no DQ? Maybe because half of the undercard had crap finishes. Also at over 13 minutes, this match went on way, way, way too long. I would have ranked it lower, but the crowd was super into the match, which helped my enjoyment of it a lot. I’ve never liked the Bushwhackers. Back in the day, they were known as the Sheepherders and were known as a violent tag team, who would blade and bleed all over the ring. Also, side note, this was Raymond Rougeau’s last match, he retired after this. Side note: Jacques Rougeau was recently featured on VICE’s Dark Side of the Ring episode on Dino Bravo. Who will be on this card a little later…
Winners: The Bushwhackers
Finish: Butch pins Jacques
Length: 13:35

Brutus Beefcake vs. The Genius
The Genius opens up this one reciting one of his poems, insulting the crowd and Beefcake in the process. Fantastic promo, he gets so much heat from the crowd from this. Brother Brutus comes out to a huge ovation. The Genius prances around like he’s gay, which enrages this early 90s Southern crowd. The match is alright, Genius is pretty good, but Beefcake is just kinda there. The referee gets knocked out, Beefcake covers Genius and should have won, but there’s no referee. So he starts to do the only logical thing he can do and starts to cut The Genius’ hair. Suddenly, Mr. Perfect comes out from the back and attacks Beefcake. The referee gets up and sees those two fighting, so he disqualifies everyone. Um, what? Shouldn’t he just be disqualifying The Genius? Shouldn’t Beefcake pick up the win, since the referee saw Beefcake getting attacked? Nope. Wonky Booking existed in the WWF even 30 years ago.
Winner: N/A
Finish: Double disqualification
Length: 11:07


Greg Valentine (with Jimmy Hart) vs. Ronnie Garvin
Submission Match
Oh man, I wanted to love this match, I really mean it, I did. Out of all the undercard matches on this show, this is the one with the guys with the most experience. Greg Valentine is a hard-hitting, sonofabitch veteran. Ronnie Garvin is likewise a former NWA World Heavyweight Champion. They both have their submission holds, so seeing them go at it in a match like this should have been golden. So why only three out of five stars? Well. It’s a submission match. So why do both men keep going for pinfalls? Throughout the match, both competitors go for pin attempt after pin attempt after pin attempt. I didn’t keep a tally, but it was upwards of 4 or 5 times each. If you do it 2-3 times, total, that’s fine. But you mean to tell me, that the two biggest professionals kept forgetting what kind of match they were having? It took me out and made me mad. Which is a shame, because it was a good, stiff, hard-hitting match, and I liked all the rest of it. Lame that the pinfall attempts pulled me out.
Winner: Ronnie Garvin
Finish: Submission
Length: 16:55

 

Ronnie Garvin showing how I felt during the WWF was treating me in last three matches.

Image by WWE via RichOnWrestling

Segment: The Brother Love Show
Guests: Queen Sherri, Sapphire, Dusty Rhodes, Randy Savage
Brother Love berates the crowd and brings out the manager of Randy Savage, Queen Sherri, to berate them with him. Brother Love calls Sherri “royalty” and they call the crowd “peasants.” Speaking of peasants! They call out Sapphire, the manager of Dusty Rhodes, so Brother Love and Sherri can berate her live and in person. They insult her and Dusty until she can’t stand it anymore and attacks Sherri. Dusty comes out to the aid of Sapphire which causes Randy Savage to hit the ring. The segment ends with Brother Love taking a nice little bump to the outside, courtesy of Dusty. A fun little bit! Four of the most charismatic individuals in the WWF at the time and Sapphire, who might not be the most graceful, but seemed like a genuinely nice person. So she’s captivating in her kind of way. I enjoyed this.


The Big Boss Man (with Slick) vs. Jim Duggan
Jim Duggan is backstage before the match, cutting a promo where he yells and screams “HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” a lot. Boss Man has the confederate flag on his police uniform. He’s a police officer from Cobb County, Georgia, so of course he does. But it’s hilariously distracting. It was a different time in 1990. And what’s up with all these wonky finishes? This one ends with Boss Man getting DQ’d when he smacks Duggan with his nightstick. I wanted to like this match. It was a good, solid, hard-hitting contest. Boss Man moves around gracefully for a big man and takes some nice bumps. I’ve never been a Jim Duggan fan, never will, but he was pretty good in this one. But this is the second DQ finish out of four matches. At least the referee disqualified the right person instead of throwing up his arms and going “I dunno! LOL!”
Winner: Jim Duggan
Finish: Disqualification
Length: 6:13


Segment: Rapid Fire Promos
Before the Rumble match, they show a collection of backstage promos delivered in rapid-fire succession by most of the participants. I didn’t dislike any of them, though most of them were just big bulky men, screaming and yelling about how they were going to win. The best ones were from the usual suspects: Dusty Rhodes, The Ultimate Warrior, Randy Savage, Jake Roberts, Hulk Hogan. A group of guys known for their charisma. I was a bit underwhelmed by some others, specifically Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart, who cut their promos alongside their tag team partners Marty Janetty and Jim Niedhart, respectively. But what can I say? These two wouldn’t come into their own for another couple of years. They showed up, did their job, and that’s it. I only felt underwhelmed because, watching this in 2020, and knowing what they would quickly become, it was a bit of a letdown. That’s something difficult I have watching this really old wrestling. Seeing guys acting like average chumps, in their early days, but I’m so used to seeing them as household names. But there was a great bit overall and served to get me hyped for the Rumble match.


The Royal Rumble
Participants (in order of entrance)
Ted DiBiase, Koko B. Ware, Marty Jannetty, Jake Roberts, Randy Savage, Roddy Piper, The Warlord, Bret Hart, Bad News Brown, Dusty Rhodes, Andre the Giant, The Red Rooster, Ax, Haku, Smash, Akeem, Jimmy Snuka, Dino Bravo, The Canadian Earthquake, Jim Neidhart, The Ultimate Warrior, Rick Martel, Tito Santana, The Honky Tonk Man, Hulk Hogan, Shawn Michaels, The Barbarian, Rick Rude, Hercules, Mr. Perfect
A lot to talk about in this match. This was the third ever Royal Rumble and the first one that was won by a big name, Jim Duggan and Big John Studd winning the first two. Ted DiBiase was the first one out, and lasted quite a while, spending almost 45 minutes in the match. He was the 18th eliminated. The shortest was, unfortunately, Shawn Michaels. Michaels was not a star yet, so he got destroyed by the Ultimate Warrior and eliminated in 0:12 seconds. See, Triple H was not the only member of D/X to get buried by the Warrior. Hulk Hogan and the Warrior each had six eliminations, tied for the most in this match. And that’s the big story here, those two. There is a point in the match where Hogan and the Warrior are in the ring alone together, and the crowd is losing their collective minds. The two biggest stars in the company, face to face for the first time. They go at it, no-selling each other’s moves, smacking each other around like only two big, beefy men can do. They criss-cross the ring and double clothesline each other! Who is the strongest? We don’t know! Eventually, other wrestlers come out. Soon, Warrior ends up being eliminated, but it takes Hogan, along with The Barbarian and Rick Rude, to do so. In the end, Hogan wins the Rumble by throwing Mr. Perfect over the top rope. It’s a great, fun match, as Rumbles usually are. And as much as I’m not a huge fan of Hogan or the Warrior today, feeling that energy from the crowd, even 30 years later, goes a long way to making the match and the moment with the two of them feel special.
Winner: Hulk Hogan
Finish: Hogan eliminates Mr. Perfect
Length: 58:46

 

Not a bad start to the decade for a man, who, just the previous year, literally murdered rival wrestler Zeus in the movie No Holds Barred.

Image by WWE via Sportsakeeda

Overall
I had average feelings coming out of this Rumble. I liked all the backstage bits, I liked the Brother Love Show Segment, and I enjoyed the Rumble match itself. The Royal Rumble is my favorite event of the year, and I love the match itself. And it was SO WEIRD (in a good way) to hear Toni Schivonne call a WWF Royal Rumble. He was an NWA/WCW guy from the early 80s up through the end of WCW in 2001, except for the one year between 1989-90 that he was in the WWF. But I liked it, it’s not only different, but I like him on commentary. It’s just a shame that the undercard was so underwhelming. Four matches, two ending in disqualification, one with tons of bullcrap pinfalls, and one that was way too long and featured the Bushwhackers. Overall, an average show, with some highlights. The big takeaway of the show was the Ultimate Showdown between Hogan and the Warrior in the Rumble. Who is stronger? Who is more powerful? All the kids across the country didn’t know! And, damn it, we needed to know! And we would find out, as this was all the beginning of the build for Wrestlemania VI, which is coming in just a few months, and features The Ultimate Challenge!

 

Who's the toughest of the two? We have no idea yet!

Image by WWE via 411Mania

 *********************************************************************************

Can the 24-inch pythons and the rocketship co-exist?

Image by WWE via IMDB

Saturday Night’s Main Event XXV
January 27, 1990
UTC Arena in Chattanooga, Tennessee
Pre-taped on NBC [originally taped January 3]
Commentators: Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura

The show starts with McMahon and Ventura standing in front of a green screen showing the crowd in the arena. Ventura is wearing a Florida Gators shirt, cuz ya know, they’re in Tennessee and the University of Florida and the University of Tennessee are rivals. Ventura also warns McMahon “Be careful, or I might start talking like Guns and Roses.”

Jim Duggan vs. Randy Savage (with Queen Sherri)
Duggan starts off cutting one of his “HOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” promos before the match, telling backstage interviewer Mean Gene Okerlund that he can’t wait for this decade. I hope he likes having a janitor gimmick in 1999. Savage also cuts a promo with Sherri, with lots of insults to the “peasants.” Some local wrestlers carry Savage out to the ring on a throne. I should point out that Savage’s current gimmick is “The Macho King” which makes his royalty stuff make more sense. As far as the match itself goes, as I said in the Rumble, Hacksaw is not the best. But he’s good enough, especially working with someone like Savage. I wouldn’t say this match is a forgotten classic or a hidden gem, but I enjoyed it. Sherri holds Duggan’s legs down so he can be pinned.
Winner: Randy Savage
Finish: Pinfall
Length: 9:14


Hulk Hogan & The Ultimate Warrior vs. Mr. Perfect & The Genius
Another set of great promos kick off the match. The Genius has another poem he recites, about how lame Hogan is. Jesse Ventura is interviewing them, and sows the seeds of descent between Hogan and Warrior, stating that they will want to beat each other up. Hogan and Warrior cut a promo with Mean Gene, yelling and screaming about how powerful they both are. So here’s my thing. Why the hell is this match the second on the card? Why isn’t this the main event? Regardless. They go back and forth for a big. Then Mr. Perfect and The Genius isolate Hogan and keep beating him down. Perfect hits his finisher, The PerfectPlex on Hogan, but stops the count on his own to dish out more damage. See? That’s how you protect a finisher. Hogan makes the Hot Tag and Warrior comes in to clean house! Gorilla Press Slam to The Genius! Hogan blind tags Warrior back in. Leg Drop! Pinfall. Great finish to the match. The right guy got pinned, Mr. Perfect being undefeated at this point still.
Winners: Hulk Hogan & The Ultimate Warrior
Finish: Hogan pins The Genius
Length: 8:02


After the match, the bad guys come in and attack Hogan and Warrior. Hogan gets knocked out of the ring, so Warrior takes care of business and takes down The Genius and Mr. Perfect. Hogan gets back in, taps Warrior on the soldier, and gets a clothesline of his own! Oh no! Warrior has attacked Hogan by accident! Warrior goes to check on Hogan, most weirdly. He kind of lightly smacks Hogan on the forehead and rubbing him on the head, while also taking a couple of breaks to flex real quick. Hogan gets to his feet and shoves the Warrior away. The two get in each other's faces and yell and growl at each other. Spicy!

Greg Valentine (with Jimmy Hart) vs. Jake Roberts
Cool little promos from Roberts and Hart before this match. The storyline for this includes Roberts having stolen Ted DiBiase’s Million Dollar Championship. He has the belt, along with his snake, Damien, in a bag at ringside. This is a pretty good match, Roberts and Valentine can go. The match comes to an end when DiBiase and his slave, Virgil, attack Roberts, resulting in Valentine getting disqualified.
Winner: Jake Roberts
Finish: Disqualification
Length: 5:16


Dusty Rhodes (with Sapphire) vs. Rick Rude (with Bobby Heenan)
Pre-match promo: Rude: “Sapphire will be mine” Ventura: “I wouldn’t put my hands on that woman on a bet!” Rude: “Who said anything about my hands?” I think he means his penis. Anyway. Kinda funny for toilet humor. This was a good match. Dusty was over with the southern crowd. Good back and forth action. The referees end up tossing both managers out after a few minutes. But Sapphire ends up buying a ticket and coming out to ringside to sit with the crowd at ringside. Must have been a slow night if you could still get a ringside ticket from the box office after the show starts. I gotta say, I liked this match. Rude is a great charismatic heel and Dusty is just a ball of energy and excitement. They both know how to work a crowd. Unfortunately, the ending was garbage. Rude ends up confronting Sapphire at ringside, getting Dusty’s attention. They fight up the walkway and the referee counts them both out. Ugh. Afterward, Dusty celebrates in the ring like he won the damn match, and Sapphire comes in and joins him.
Winner: N/A
Finish: Double Countout
Length: 9:04


Dino Bravo (with Jimmy Hart and Earthquake) vs. Ronnie Garvin
Off. This one takes on a different dimension after watching the recent Dark Side of the Ring episode on Dino Bravo. I honestly didn’t know much about him before that and, seeing it, I can’t see Dino the same way as before. I don’t mean that just in a bad way, because of the nature of his death, but I also didn’t know how big of a star he was in Quebec before coming to the WWF. Before, I saw him as just another old school wrestler holding on to his career and out of his element. Now, I see a star. Also, Earthquake looks like he’s in his 40s, but he’s 27-years-old. Geeze. This match was short and sweet, but a lot of fun. It had two professionals who know what they’re doing. The crowd is into the match. There’s a great bit where Bravo keeps trying to drop an elbow on Garvin, but Ronnie keeps rolling out of the way. Jimmy Hart gets on the ring apron, Garvin grabs him and throws him out, but he’s okay because Earthquake catches him. Quake then starts shaking his finger and yelling at Garvin, but he has his hand on the ring apron, so Garvin stomps it. Hilarious. But oh no! Garvin has his back turned, Bravo throws him outside and starts celebrating. Garvin climbs to the top turnbuckle, flying cross body on Bravo, but Bravo rolls it up and pins Garvin. Holy crap. A clean finish!
After the match, Bravo and Earthquake destroy Garvin, leading him to be let out on a stretcher.
Winner: Dino Bravo
Finish:
Length: 3:19


After the last match, they start hyping the next big show, February 23, The Main Event. It’ll be a rematch from Wrestlemania V, Hulk Hogan defending the WWF Championship against Randy Savage! But that’s not all… the special guest referee will be… Iron Mike Tyson! The World Boxing Champion! And in my mind, watching this, I was shocked. “Wait a minute,” I said to myself. “Tyson was in the WWF for Wrestlemania XIV in 1998. He was there before, in 1990? Why have I never heard about it?” Well, there’s is a reason for that, which we’ll talk about next time when we talk about February 1990 for the WWF. Near the end of the show, Ventura says about Tyson “There are some people in this world who can take you.” Ahh, timing…

Overall
I wanted to like this show more than I did. Bravo and Garvin was a great little match, if over way too soon. Surprisingly, I was jazzed for Hogan and the Warrior's tag team match and the confrontation at the end. The crowd was electric for everything they did, which made it engaging to watch. But what I want to know is, why was the Hogan & Warrior vs. Mr. Perfect & The Genius not the main event? At first, I thought "Well, ya know, they ARE in Tennessee. Maybe they had Dusty Rhodes and Ronnie Garvin go on after them because this is the south. The crowd would be more familiar with Rhodes and Garvin, being that this was NWA territory, and they were big stars in the NWA." But then when I found out that this show was pretaped, not live, and when they taped it... Hogan and Warrior WAS the main event! So I don't know! This confounds me. Also, another negative is, again, I hate DQ and double count-out finishes. They dragged the show for me down into "average" territory.

Somewhere, deep down inside of my nostalga, still beats the heart of a little Hulkamaniac

Image by WWE via WWE Network News

This was certainly a fun little romp, especially watching in April and May of 2020, as I’m writing this. Outside in the Real World, with the COVID-19 pandemic, there is still wrestling going on with the WWE, but they are performing in empty arenas and it isn’t the same. While the matches today might be technically better, these older matches are more fun to watch because there’s a crowd. You don’t know how important that live audience is until it’s taken away from you. Which is probably why I’m more jazzed for some of this stuff than I would have been a year ago. Hulk Hogan vs The Ultimate Warrior? I’m excited about that? What’s happened to me?

You can watch both of the shows I reviewed here on the WWE Network. Have you seen them? Let me know what you thought in the comments.

Next time, since there is no WCW content from January 1990 on the Network, we’re just going to go right into February for the WWF and talk about The Main Event and Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage. And the special referee being the World Heavyweight Boxing Champion…


**********************************************************************************
Misc Wrestling Stuff - January 1990

Other Events:
January 7 - FMW Battle Resistance – 1st Open Tournament

Births:
January 14 - Kacy Catanzaro, gymnast and future NXT wrestler

Deaths:
January 7 - Bronko Nagurski, former World Wrestling Champion (original version) and NFL Hall of Famer